This week's theme brought up a resurgence of something that happens a lot in the healing community: energy invasion. This occurs when someone sends healing to someone else or shares intuitive information without consent. There are varying degrees of opinions about the proper boundaries with this but my personal belief is that you should never work on someone's energy or share information without their permission. Most of the time this happens with a very positive intention, the person invading wants to help someone they believe is in need of it. But even if you want to help someone, it's not your place. I've experienced this discomfort and fear from others when meeting new people. They learn what I do and their first questions are: Are you reading my mind? What are you picking up? I've always found this funny because not only do I respect boundaries but the last thing I want to do is go swimming in someone else's psyche during my downtime. I enjoy balance and while I'm always more than happy to answer questions about my work, it's a common misperception that I want to jump into everyone's energy and start working away. I do appreciate the curiosity, and love the enthusiasm. Over the years I've mastered the art of turning it on and off at will.
I'll share just one example I've witnessed of energy invasion. I was in Hawaii taking the Doreen Virtue mediumship course, back in the day. My sister was on the trip with me and made some friends during the day while I was in class. We were having dinner and one of our new friends shared that a student from the course had stopped him randomly as he was walking through the resort and started talking about his kids, giving messages of guidance about his daughter. He shared that she wasn't inaccurate in her information, his daughter was going through a troubling time, but that it made him uncomfortable because it caught him off guard. He wasn't sure how to handle it. I remember being upset hearing about this because it was not only disrespectful to walk up to a complete stranger and start reading their family but also because it's this kind of action that gives healers a bad rap. Classic energy invasion. This busy dad to several kids was on vacation, this wasn't something he wanted to think about at that moment. And it was none of the student's business. Do I think the student had ill intentions? Not at all. I think her enthusiasm got the better of her and she wasn't grounded.
A lot of people will argue that it's okay to send energy healing to someone because their higher self can choose whether or not they receive it. But I think that's a bit cheeky. It's still straddling a line, isn't it? It's more about satisfying your need to feel like you've done something. The one exception I see with this is if you're working on a family healing or a couples healing and the energy of the partner or children shows up strongly in the session. Then you might set an intention of saying if your free will wishes to receive in tandem to this healing you can. But still, I wouldn't directly shift focus and work on their energy because it's not their session of course. And as I always say, when you work on a family it's like skipping a rock, it has a natural ripple effect anyways. Every member of the family is a strand in one big web. If one strand is moving, the rest will feel it on some level.
If you see someone struggling and are worried, the best option is to ask the person if they would like some support or some healing sent their way. And then most importantly, hear what they say. Respect their free will. If they say yes, great, set up a time and go for it. And if they say no, respect it and let it go. If they don't say anything, they may like the idea but aren't ready yet, so again, let it go. If it's not a yes, it's a no. Present the offer and wait for them to pick it up.
A respectful alternative is to pray for someone, as this can be done without interfering in their journey or process. It's one thing to hold someone in your thoughts and prayers. It's another to be in their energy body. Even though you may have a loving intention if you are repeatedly suggesting healing to someone it will have the opposite effect, it will register as judgment. What they may hear is: You don't think it's okay to feel how I feel, or to be where I'm at. You think I need to be different or that my life isn't okay how it is. It's arrogant to assume you know what someone else needs. The majority of the time if someone is struggling it is because they are experiencing their shadows and moving through a very necessary learning experience. Who has the right to rob them of that? I understand how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer but remember that suffering is strength begging to be born. If you push, they may feel obligated or pressured to cave and receive something they never wanted in the first place. And you don't want to engage in an exchange of energy rooted in guilt, resistance or force. It will be exhausting for you and disempowering for them. The key ingredient to healing is the participant's willingness and desire for it.
It's worth sharing as well that when someone has experienced a really great healing session or workshop, their excitement can get the better of them. In their enthusiasm they want everyone else to experience the same joy and empowerment. It's natural as you've been in a light vibration and are coming off a spiritual high. But I always encourage you to share your passion and joy, while being conscious of not pushing things on others. Celebrate it as the personal gain it is for you. And by all means spread the word and highly recommend it from a place of authentic sharing. And then trust that if someone is interested, they'll ask you for more information, or check it out in their own time. There's a big difference in energy between saying: I just loved this workshop, I feel so good right now. Here's the info if you ever feel inclined to check it out. Versus: You should really take this workshop. You need it, it would help you. One is sharing, the other is projecting.
So to sum it up, respect the free will of others. It allows both of you to enjoy a healthier relationship, rooted in boundaries and trust.
The theme this week has you addressing any triggers and fears around change. You are being asked to process any limitations that are preventing you from taking the next step in accomplishing your goals. With this personal growth, it's important to notice if you are unconsciously projecting your fear of change. Do you notice yourself resisting change via a negative attitude or lower vibration words? Change isn't easy, it requires a lot of work, commitment, and trust. It's not for the faint of heart. The ego wants to keep you comfortable and convince you that everything should stay status quo. But that's not what you came here for. You came here to grow! And to do so you need to be challenged, to change and to evolve. I always say there are only two directions I go, forward and up. And one of the things that makes me a good healer and teacher is that I'm one of those weirdos who actually likes change. When I make a change people always ask me: Why did you change your hair? Why did you move there? Why aren't you doing this anymore? My answer is, why not?! I go where my soul takes me because I trust in change. Every look has reflected a piece of myself I was integrating. Every place I've lived has offered me important spiritual growth and soul gifts that I've brought home. I like to keep things fresh. To me, it would be a red flag if a spiritual healer wasn't evolving and their work or life wasn't moving forward. So this week I'm going to share some personal experiences in regards to growing pains as a part of your personal and professional evolution. I want to talk about having to face other people’s resistance to change while embracing your own.
I began my spiritual work offering angel card readings in 2007. I've since evolved into resonating more with the elemental realm and offering shamanic-based healing sessions. The reason behind my evolution has been empowerment. I always want to give people not what they want, but what they need. And that is not always a popular choice, but for me it's the integral choice.
Since I moved on from offering prediction-based readings at the end of 2016, I've heard the same two responses repeatedly: That's too bad or that's a shame. Is it? Is it really too bad? Is it really a shame? Or is it interesting and refreshing? Is it self-honoring and inspiring? And here's my absolute favorite that I've heard: I hope you go back to it. Le sigh... Really? You hope I take a step back in my spiritual evolution?! Because that's actually what you just said. Most of these things are said unconsciously but it's important to look at the energy behind what you're putting out there. And more importantly what it's trying to mirror back to you. Don't ever wish for someone to slow their growth or stay stagnant; that’s a gross energy to put out there. I was sent some serious nasty energy during this transition. The very same people who were proclaiming their admiration and love for me and my services were also sending me toxic negative energy out of resentment and fear. They took it personally. They felt like I had abandoned them. They had disempowered themselves and believed I was their source, which is the opposite of what I have always taught. I was forcing them to face change, to stand with me at an intersection that asked: Grow forward with me or no? And they didn't like it. But the best healers, teachers, and motivators in your life will present you with the opportunity to change repeatedly.
I'd have people try to convince me not to make the changes I had already made. They'd repeatedly tell me how accurate my readings were and fluff my feathers. Well that's great, I mean it, I'm so glad people enjoyed my service but I'm not stopping prediction-based readings because I thought I was inaccurate. Again, the mirroring was so beautiful and ironic. I didn't grow and run a full-time business because I wasn't good at what I did. These people were trying to give me the reassurance they were looking for.
So what do I think some fair and more aware responses might have been?
The reason I stopped offering prediction-based readings is that it had come full circle, and I had hit a wall with them. I wasn't enjoying them anymore; I had been doing it for almost eight years full-time and I grew increasingly frustrated at people's unwillingness to self-connect and embrace their own personal power. And I began to resent my work, and that is not something I'm comfortable with. So I moved forward down the path that I had been developing for some time, into—you guessed it—teaching people how to self-connect and develop their personal power. There's always a reason to the rhyme, my friends. I was pushing people to walk their talk. I don't want to talk about the options available to you in your future, I want to provide you with the tools to create it. I always say I'm not interested in helping you for a moment, I'm invested in empowering you for a lifetime.
As with any spiritual business transition, there is a flushing out of old clients and a welcoming of new ones. I've been through this growth spurt a few times. When I began and moved from part-time to full-time, when I moved to BC and transitioned in-person readings into distance, and when I moved on from readings into more healing and teaching. I was prepared and excited for this energy cleanse. I'm not someone who holds onto things. In fact, I love a good purge so much I'll sometimes let go of items too early! But there was a backlash I had to process. I had clients who even after I had told them about my changes and provided them with the info would still ask me to make an exception for them and do a reading because they liked the old way. Just a tad disrespectful. I had clients who were aware of the change and would still book a session in hopes that because they had me on the phone, I'd surrender to a reading. Just a tad manipulative. I had a client refuse to pay even after I'd explained the changes and they'd agreed to the hour because no, they still really wanted a reading. Just a tad deceitful. And my response to every moment of this resistance and disrespect was, thank you. Thank you old client, and thank you spirit for validating my decisions. Thank you for the crystal-clear confirmation that I have made the right choices for myself and my business. And thank you for forcing me to take such supreme care of my energy right now. And bless you all because wherever you are at is where you should be. I let you go with love. I appreciate it all: the easy, the difficult, the in-between; it's all magic because it all feeds a new strength.
I share this to spark your awareness to the evolution at play in your life and others. Is there something that you are saying ‘that's too bad' that needs to be re-thought? Maybe you're on the receiving end of an 'it's a shame’ comment and you need to be reminded that it's not a shame, it's a bloody celebration! There's one thing I can promise you without fail, and that is that I will always be true to my authentic self, and my work will always reflect that. I will never teach, heal or share something I'm not passionate about and something that I don't use myself. Staying stagnant isn't really an option, guys; it's an illusion of safety, a tempting but temporary comfort. This week asks you to stand strong in the face of fear and to honor yourself no matter what resistance you have to move through. The view at the top of the hill wouldn't be rewarding without making the climb. Know yourself, know your business, and keep it real. Because if you're hanging back and not living your truth, your work is going to reflect that. And if relationships in your life need to end it's because new ones need to begin.
Don't waste time, it's precious, as are you. Go forward and up my friends! Grow always. Grow all ways.
Sharing current energy themes to give you insight and guidance for the week.
New blog posts on Thursdays.